Stuck in the Middle.

I am Americanmuslimah. I have been a muslimah now for over 30 years.
I have blogged and quit several times. Again I want to try.
I was ask by a certain group of Muslimah's once about 20 years ago to join their group of women.
I refused.
Before you judge allow me to explain.
They were a group that dressed in burqa (complete body covering + face covering) I also dressed at the time in this fashion. But, they stayed to themselves and no one was allowed in that did not follow the rules.
They had an air as if they were the best of the best and everyone else was to be avoided.
I disagreed with this attitude.
So I refused to join them. I did visit them from time to time. And they did me.
But, they treated me as if I was not one of the best.
Even going so far as to tell my husband I was a trouble maker.
To this day I am still wondering what I did that made any trouble for them.
I am American born and raised. This is a sinful country. This country does not follow God.
I wonder sometimes why Allah had me born here.
My family and those around me wonder how I can leave this lovely life of beauty and easiness for a life of covering and hardship. But, mostly they say that I should stick to the modern religion of Christianity and leave the old fashion that comes from following such an old fashioned way of life from a people in the third world countries.
What can I say?
All religions orginate from these third world countries is my understanding.
So here is again a bit of an understanding of where the books of God are coming from.
All three major books are from God. The Torah. The Bible. The Quran.
The Torah and the Bible have been changed by people who did not agree with God.
God took that right to change the books when he sent the Quran.
None of the books are originally in English.
If I was born during the days of people leaving because they did not want to follow the certain religion I am sure I would have preferred to stay with Islam.
I am sorry you think because I do not believe that Jesus is God's son/God that I well burn in hell. I do not believe that is true.
And as for joining a group of muslimah that snob others, I disagree, so I will not do that.
I study Quran.
O you who believe; believe in God and His messenger, and the Book
which was sent down to His messenger, and the Book which was sent before. And whoever rejects God, and His angels, and His Books, and His messengers, and the Last Day; then he has strayed a far straying.
Quran:4:136